October 2, 2006 1:47 pm
I want to preface this by saying that the group of 13 other hikers (and three excellent dogs) with whom we ventured to the Bridge To Nowhere up San Gabriel Canyon in the Angeles National Forest above Azusa yesterday are a great group of people. They were personable, lively, congenial, conversant, interesting… for the little time within the 7.5 hours we actually spent with them. By that I mean that in the wake set by their pace, Susan and I were relegated to the extreme rear guard. Therefore we were an actual part of the interior half of the 10.5-mile roundtrip at the beginning of the journey and for brief respites somewhere around the three-mile mark, and at the bridge itself. The rest of the time we were left to our own devices. On the way back, things slowed down a bit so that Susan and I mostly never completely lost sight of them up ahead some distance in front of us. Mostly.
I’ll be honest here. I went through some pointed emotion along the way in. First off as it seemed to me that Susan and I were the least cross-acquainted throughout the assembly (with me having never met any of them in person before and only knowing some through our online photo posting exploits), frankly I was bothered at being left so decidedly behind and thus much further removed from the anticipated social aspect as we already were going in to this gathering.
Of course, a peanut gallery suggestion would be for us to have gotten our little doggies along and kept up! And there may be some validity to that, but then again this was not a forced march. We weren’t on some accelerated time limit.
The fact is as evidenced by yesterday and with past jaunts with friends, Susan and I apparently just step out a whole lot less lively than other people. Those hankering to put not too fine a point on it can call us molasses-assed if they want but while it might be a shame in some circles that we’ll never break any land-speed records, we actually enjoy a more leisurely pace during which we do strange things called “taking our time” and “looking around” and “experiencing the outdoors.” We even stop to watch and take pictures of lizards, and bees and rock formations and vistas and each other. And shocking of all: on top of all that lackadaisicality we take breaks along the way, just to stop and shut up and listen and smell and see. Nuts, I know.
Adding to all that slow-motion were further delays thanks to the nature of the rugged trail itself. Traversing some of the more disjointed and poorly marked sections of the trail by ourselves made it easy to lose and to force backtacking, especially around a couple river crossings, and distinctly undeveloped or washed out parts required extra-effort scrambles the likes of which Susan and I had never before seen together.
Ultimately what it comes down to is a fundamental difference in hiking philosophy. They didn’t subscribe to ours and we didn’t subscribe to theirs and everything worked out in the end, which is fine. But whereas yesterday’s operation was all about everybody keeping up, the way I operate is that groups should soooo stick together. Whether it’s two people or 20, longtime friends or almost complete strangers, one mile or 10, you go as fast into the wilderness as the slowest person. As fast as you move on up trail, the pace is ultimately going to be controlled by who’s bring up the rear so if nothing else hanging back and keeping everyone together is not only common sense but it does something silly like foster an environment that consists of inclusion rather than over-the-shoulder glances wondering how far back the slowpokes are — the increasing resentful slowpokes like me who couldn’t completely reconcile being so deserted out where where there were 4,000 ways to sprain an ankle, a couple opportunities to go spilling off-trail down steep terrain, chances for exhaustion, and let’s not forget the venomous snakes, spiders, insects, and plants one might be unlucky to encounter.
So here’s how it’s gonna be from here on out. Susan and I are going to hike by ourselves. It’s our own private hiking club and only we know the password. Because beyond wanting to do things our way and soak in the surroundings and not just get as quickly as we can to a destination and back, what we don’t like is the grandeur of a hike like the Bridge to Nowhere to be diminished by being led to feel rushed and inadequate and unimportant and no matter how nice everyone involved was, Susan and I felt all of those things yesterday.
UPDATED (10/03): After hearing back from a couple people who were part of the group I do feel it important to add that I do feel at least partially responsible for how the hike developed. At the beginning of the hike I could have taken any of several opportunities to light-heartedly mention how speedy everyone else was going. And even before that I had actually considered discussing it on the drive to the trailhead just to put out the alert that Susan and I tend to go slower than most or at least get a sense of what hiking style we might be in for. But instead I just kept my mouth shut figuring (hoping) it would all work itself out. It could’ve made a huge difference had I piped up and I do regret not doing that.
Some of the 100-plus pictures my molasses ass took yesterday are up here in a Flickr set. My love offers a much more lovely and polite version of the hike with pix here.


October 2nd, 2006 at 3:34 pm
That is soooooo not right. If you go as a group, you should act like a group, not a bunch of strangers who happened to show up at the same place. If the others had expected a certain level of hiking ability or had a set time schedule, they should have said so from the beginning, so you would have known what to expect. For them to just race off and leave you in the dirt is inexcusable. And I am sooooooo with you, that in a location like that, you want to stop along the way and appreciate the nature and scenery you went there enjoy in the first place. I would venture to say that, aside from your apparent isolation from the group, you have a much more enjoyable and rewarding time then the rest of the group did. Loved your pictures, thanks for sharing.
October 2nd, 2006 at 3:52 pm
also … just a nitpick … photo PA011145.JPG needs to be rotated in Flickr (you missed that one).
October 2nd, 2006 at 4:06 pm
Thank you ECG (and I will fix that pic!).
October 2nd, 2006 at 6:02 pm
Hey Will –
I am always up for a molasses-assed stroll –should you and Susan ever decide to expand your own elitist group in favor of a little company!
xo
F
October 2nd, 2006 at 8:57 pm
F, I see a slow jaunt up Vermont Canyon with you and Isabella in our near future!
October 4th, 2006 at 8:59 pm
You know Will, you said absolutely nothing nor showed any indication you had any problem. I don’t know why you didn’t say something there but choose to do it here.
I thought you were walking behind on purpose and didn’t want to talk to others. Even at our “blazing fast pace” we still just managed to avoid the rain storm & darkness so maybe it wasn’t so bad. So maybe that’s the flipside of the coin.
This was my first long hike in years and I only knew a couple people and the rest were strangers to me but you can’t blame others if you don’t choose to interact with them. There were 15 people and you can’t make everyone happy, less if they don’t chime in.
All in all everyone I met seemed like very nice people and instead of choosing to not interact with them, maybe just pre-plan something your way.
Come to think of it, if you said something earlier, maybe we could have all accomidated or split into groups. Everyone took wrong turns that day, it’s the nature of that trail from what I’ve read.
October 5th, 2006 at 12:00 am
Wow James. Way to comprehend so little of what I wrote while apparently coming to judgments that are way off the mark. Having said that, I’ll be honest here… Nothing personal, but I gotta break what you wrote down bit by bit in as “Who The Fuck Are You!” way as I can primarily because in reading your comment that was the question most often coming up.
Let’s see, you write: “…you said absolutely nothing nor showed any indication you had any problem.”
True, but I covered that already. Read it again, you know in the update… that part where I talk about accepting responsibility in not bringing my concern up either before the hike or right around the beginning when it became clear we were going to be outpaced.
As to not demonstrating we had any problem well fuck me for just bucking up and trying my damnedest to enjoy the day with my wife and not encroach on anyone else’s good vibes. By the time we caught up to everyone at that water crossing around the third mile I was borderline surly but not enough to keep my lip zipped and realize that discretion would be the better part of valor. Kinda like the discretion you would’ve been better off showing by deleting your comment instead of the submitting it. Oh well.
You wrote: “I don’t know why you didn’t say something there but choose to do it here.”
I’ve been kicking myself for not speaking up with my concern either on the road there or immediately after setting out when it became clear we were going to be outpaced. Why didn’t I beforehand? Partly because I was given no prior indication that I should need to. Why didn’t I near the outset? Because up until that first moment where we lost complete and total sight of the lot of you I had this stupid hope that some miracle would happen and common sense would prevail and the hiking group would stay together or at the very least in our sight lines. Silly me.
As to why I choose to speak about it here? Because frankly James I’ll do whatever the fuck I want here. This is my blog. My house. In fact I may next write a post bitching about people bitching about me bitching and the headline just might have your name in it.
You wrote: “I thought you were walking behind on purpose and didn’t want to talk to others.”
Yeah James your logic is impeccable. My wife and I are so nongregarious that we love to sign on to go on group hikes out in the middle of nowhere only to “purposefully” ignore everyone else — and here’s the real fun part: go super slow. We’re guilty your honor.
But tell me something James… instead of just making that ASSumption, did it dawn on you to perhaps — here’s a word I’ve been beating myself up about lately: communicate? Maybe check in and find out personally and first hand if my wife and I wanted to be left alone? It didn’t? Why not Jimmy? Why didn’t you say something there but instead choose to say it here, eh?
You wrote: “…but you can’t blame others if you don’t choose to interact with them…”
There you go again with that ASSuming. Gotta work on that dude. For real. My wife and I didn’t “choose” not to interact. We were outpaced. We were left with little opportunities to interact and by the time we hit the bridge I was three times as surly as I was at the three-mile mark so I just gritted and grinned. Trust me, any interaction from then on would have been counter productive.
You wrote: “…instead of choosing to not interact with them, maybe just pre-plan something your way.”
Hey Jim, there’s a little bit more of that redundant ASSumption stuff, thanks for that. And as to “pre-planning something” our way, you really didn’t read the post, did you? I talk ALL about doing our own hikes.
Listen, from the little contact I had with you on the trail, you seem like a far finer fellow than you’ve presented yourself here via your comments. Kick me if I’m wrong, but you don’t strike me as a regular reader of this blog (Hell, I have my doubts as to you giving this post anything more than a cursory scan) so I’m guessing word of my rant made it through the grapevine or you found my blog through my Flickr photos from the hike and as a member of the “group” you had some sort of obligation to come to some half-baked assumption-filled defense of it without even pausing to consider my point of view.
Probably won’t make that mistake again. At least I hope you won’t.
October 5th, 2006 at 2:58 am
Very disappointing attitude.
I feel no obligation to the strangers or friends I met that day.
Everyone makes the best of a new adventure. No one is perfect, no one tries to harm or make others uncomfortable. We all do the best we can and try to make new connections.
You can only vocalize problems at the time to make the situation better. You can vocalize concerns later to make a better trip next time. Since you want nothing to do with that, it is hurtful to the people that attended and doesn’t help mend the disappointment you felt.
I am sorry that I posted because the vulgarity of your response really deserves no further comment.
October 5th, 2006 at 7:13 am
Leaving so soon James? Ya just got here! Shame you won’t be hanging around to be even more condescending. But ludicrously: You crack me up James. You walk into a burning building and stoke the fire then wonder why you get flamed?
I’m sorry you posted too, but not at all because of my reaction. To borrow your odd sentiment, I feel no obligation toward how affronted you or anyone on the hike that day might feel. Instead, I’m sorry you posted because of your myopic inability to see beyond the end of your own narrow point of view.
That and you’re a pompous ass.
Know this though, should you fail to resist the urge to arrogantly respond to this, do your best to man-up and address anything else you might have to waste my time with to me via my email. Because you aren’t welcome here and I will delete any further comments.
October 5th, 2006 at 11:54 am
If I wasn’t sure before, it is definitely apparent now; a comfortable pace for me is just way to slow for everyone else. My loving husband, Will, can totally keep pace, I can’t. I know I’m strong and I have the endurance, I also know when I need to rest, which I guess is more often than some. I thought everyone there was very nice, but due to the unfamiliarity of the other people there and the way this was all going to happen, I didn’t know how to communicate this.
But besides all that, I enjoy the journey, and that is NOT to say that the others in the group don’t as well. But I like to stop and take photos and look up and all around me, and I found that when I wanted to do that, all I could think about was getting further behind the rest of the group. I know I didn’t do anything wrong, and there’s nothing wrong with me, but that’s how I felt.
The other people who contacted Will (personally) about this post understood where he was coming from and were considerate and supportive in expressing their side. But James, to lash out at my husband here and spin it all against him, is unfair. He considered that it might appear to the others ahead of us that we hung back on purpose. He also took responsibility for his (and my) non-communication as well. How very disappointing that you aren’t as understanding. And to portend to be the spokesperson for the rest of the group is unfair to everyone.
This will be a lesson to me to speak up if I ever find myself in this position again. And Sweetie, I’m sorry I laid it all on your shoulders to be my voice. I love you for your support and for your consideration for others. James is only one and not every one is going to care to understand.
October 5th, 2006 at 1:42 pm
Baby you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. I love you and will stand by you and with you anytime and all the time. Where you wanna go next?