This is as frivolicious as it is lame (though that hasn’t stopped me before!), but ever since I discovered the east/west passage offered my bike and I by Washington Boulevard for our crosstown commutes I chuckle each time I pass this store on the corner of National and Washington, imagining the phone calls.


Never mind the 300-inspired “This! Is! Spartan!! Roofing Materials, how may I help you?” that one might conjure. Instead, I’m thinking more along the lines of how limited their actual inventory of roofing materials might be. After all they are “Spartan Supply.”

Hello, Spartan Supply.

Is. This. Spartan!?

Yep. That’s us. What can I help you with today?

I want to redo my roof with gray slate tiles.

Gray slate, eh? Right now we only have brown.

No gray?

Sorry, no.

All right, brown will do

Brown it is then. How much tile do you need?

1,500 square feet should cover it.

Oh, I’m sorry. We only have 45 square feet in stock.

Really? Why so little?

Because we’re Spartan Supply!