June 25, 2008 10:59 pm
Crimestopper!
Posted by Will under crime
My guess is they were after the bike. Probably saw it on the porch from across the street, but couldn’t tell it was secured to the house with a cable lock and a Kryptonite u-lock.
I had only a minute or two earlier slid the deadbolt and shut off the front door entry light and the living room light, and maybe that was the signal the coast was clear, presuming they were casing the place. Trouble for them was I adjourned to the kitchen to refill water and kibble bowls for the night and after that was done gave Jiggy and Pepper a goodnight pet then ventured back up to the front of the house to give Pumpkin a cuddle where he lay on the comfy chair next to Buster.
If Pumpkin hadn’t been camped out there I might’ve missed all the fun. Because in a textbook case of good timing, when I stood up and looked out the window, that’s when I first saw them. There were two, their forms silhouetted and creeping up the front steps from the sidewalk. If our tenant Joe were still alive I might have presumed they were visitors as it wasn’t entirely odd for people to come see him late at night. But Joe’s not here anymore and we obviously weren’t expecting anybody so I strode to the door threw the bolt back with a thwack! and before the door was open the pair had turned tail and run.
“What’s all this about, huh?” I boomed as I yanked the door back and barreled past the screen door. But the only answer was their rapidly beating footsteps northbound toward Sunset.
“Yeah, you better run!” I yelled after them. Then I trotted down to see if I could get a better visual as they fled, but they were already long gone. Then I realized I was standing in the middle of the street in my underwear. And I didn’t give a shit.
After Susan came to the door from getting ready for bed wondering what was going on, I told her as I moved the bike inside. Then I called the nonemergency LAPD number and passed along the info that I’d just chased a couple of trespassing hoodlums off and if a unit was available to prowl the area they might find the punks looking for other thefts to make from less wary and reactive residents.
It was a safe bet they wouldn’t come back around here, but still I stood watch on the porch for a few minutes in case they were stupid enough to return for an encore. Then I came inside and took up a position in the library window. Then I sat down to tap this out hoping it would help dispell the adrenaline and the hackles-up disgust I have for petty cockroach snatch-n-grabbers who have no respect for property that’s not their own.


June 26th, 2008 at 10:47 am
Hi Will,
So glad you were able to thwart their theft attempts. I am left with one burning question. Do you wear boxers or briefs?
June 26th, 2008 at 10:55 am
Ha Jo! As any neighbors who may have seen me standing mid-street last night can attest, I wear them-there boxer briefs!
June 26th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
Thats a good one. It’s great when you get to scare the shit outta little punks like that.
I’ve got a better one for ya, get a recording of a shot gun being loaded up and play that next time.
Everyone knows that sound!
June 26th, 2008 at 9:28 pm
haha. i remember once when i lived in boston, just after we were robbed, i heard a suspicious noise and screamed in my loudest growl, “get the eff out of here” and, lo and behold, nobody came in again. well done.
June 26th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
Why a recording of a shotgun, go for the real thing. I am sure after a few corpses pile up in front of the door, wannabe hoodlums will get the point… although the pile might get a bit high before they completely understand.
June 27th, 2008 at 12:55 am
LOL, that is outstanding! What a couple of dum-dums to be so impatient to only wait a couple of minutes.
But I have a funny story too (and being much too lazy to start my own blog). We’d gotten home(walked actually) and were closing down our 3-story house in SF to go to bed. I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth when I noticed a small pick-up truck slowly cruising our cul de sac then pull over and park in front of the lot next door. Two guys got out of the car and one stepped in front of his vehicle and proceeded to upzip his fly. I opened the bathroom window and in my best old lady bitchy voice yelled out, “Don’t do that in front of my house, I’m calling the cops!” I never saw two guys move so fast in all my life. I laughed for a good 15 minutes. My husband thought I was nuts! I can honestly say that was the best time I’ve had this year!
Marilyn