Midday In The Garden Of Good & Evil

There’s a quiz at the end so pay attention as I share what I’ve learned if you ever find yourself cut open by biking into the back of a double-parked minivan and then have to forego a trip to the emergency room for stitches because instead you, your embarrassment, and your bleeding chin have no time for that because you have to pack for an imminent red-eye flight, leaking blood on your best suit jacket as you put it in your carry-on.

Should you end up sleepless on the other side of the country with no time to get anything resembling real food because you and your still weepy head wound have an impending tee time for a round of golf on a PGA-level, 18-hole course you had no business being on to begin with, but even less when your blood-sugar is so depressed and your sleep so deprived, here’s the tip. First just make the best of it. Then get back to your hotel room and don’t even bother to undress before you crash practically comatose for 13 hours.

On the other side of that, when you manage to climb back up into conciousness and at first wonder in all seriousness where and who the hell you are and then find the otherwise unknown (or suppressed) aches and soreness from the previous run-in with the parked vehicle have also manifested (with additional pain and lingering fatigue quantified by the sun exposure and all the golf club over-swinging you did across the links yesterday), you’re best bet is to:

  1. Crumple into a whimpering ball of depthless self-pity?
  2. Man-up, clean-up and take care of business?
  3. Chew ibuprofen like it’s candy and employ alcohol as medicine?
  4. Induce a walk around historic Savannah for its curative properties?
  5. 1 & 3 only?
  6. 2 & 4 only?
  7. 5 & 6 only?
  8. 1, 3 & 4 but not 2?
  9. 2, 3 & 4 but not 1?
  10. 1 – 4 in that specific order?
  11. 1 – 4  not necessarily in that order?

If it’s not clear already, the answer’s No. 11.

Unfortunately no photos exist of No. 1, 2, and 3 so you’re left to enjoy the snaps from my trek. Here’s the set on Flickr.

Email, RSS Follow

Published by

Will

Will Campbell arrived in town via the maternity ward at Good Sam Hospital way back in OneNineSixFour and has never stopped calling Los Angeles home. Presently he lives in Silver Lake with his wife Susan, their cat Rocky, dogs Terra and Hazel, and a red-eared slider turtle named Mater. Blogging since 2001, Will's web endeavors extend back to 1995 with laonstage.com, a comprehensive theater site that was well received but ever-short on capital (or a business model). The pinnacle of his online success (which speaks volumes) arrived in 1997, when much to his surprise, a hobby site he'd built called VisuaL.A. was named "best website" in Los Angeles magazine's annual "Best of L.A." issue. He enjoys experiencing (and writing about) pretty much anything creative, explorational and/or adventurous, loves his ebike, is a better tennis player than he is horr golfer, and a lover of all creatures great and small -- emphasis on "all."