Wed 29 Sep 2010
As one of them perportedully perfeshunal editor types, I’m at risk of being on the receiving end of a wiiiiide variety of press releases — most of them unrelated to my publication.
Some of them are not only unrelated but flat-out kooky. Case in point, this one just landed in my inbox and I’m helpless to keep it to myself:
Subject: News Conf/L.A. Press Club/Oct 8/Chocolate Strawberries 4 U
(Los Angeles) Center of The Golden One will hold a major news conference at the LA Press Club in Los Angeles on October 8,2010 at 11:00am.
At this special news conference on October 8, Kendra Gamble, great-great-granddaughter of one of the founders of Procter & Gamble will unveil”The Announcement,” which will lead up to an online and print media event on 10-10-10.
The event called “The Announcement” will feature a presentation by Ms. Gamble and Rachael Wilder, Press Secretary for Center of The Golden One.
“The Announcement” is potentially the most significant event in modern history and may ultimately affect the lives of millions of people throughout the world. In preparing to make “The Announcement,” Ms. Gamble has already been heard by over a million people in her print and radio interview.
“There are many names for God. There are many paths to God. But there is only one God,” said Ms. Gamble, “For history’s sake and the sake of peopleeverywhere, come hear ‘The Announcement.’”
Refreshments will be served.
Where to begin LOLing:
- The “Chocolate Strawberries 4 U” in the subject line
- Center of the Golden One
- Great-great granddaughter to a Procter & Gamble founder
- The “LA Press Club in Los Angeles” redundancy
- 10-10-10 tie-in
- The total lack of imaginative flair in simply calling such a to-be-monumental event “The Announcement” instead of perhaps “The Really Big Announcement” or “The Miss This And Be Damned Announcement”
- Bonus points for repeating “The Announcment” four times
- Ms. Gamble heard by more than (say it emphatically, Austin Powers-style) ONE MIIIIIILLION people
- Ms.Gamble’s urgent plea to the world for the sake of the world to come to the announcement of The Announcement… nevermind that it’s a “news conference,” which by design doesn’t require the whole world to be present
- Ending with “Refreshments will be served.”
I’m almost tempted to go to this.