[sic]

So I put on a tie and got myself down to the Ronald Reagan state building at 300 S. Spring Street in time for my 8:15 a.m. hearing to appeal the Employment Development Department’s categorical denial of my unemployment benefits. As I said yesterday, I felt the opportunity to elaborate my side could bring needed dimension — and reversal — to the EDD’s very one-sided decision to deem me ineligible. Nevertheless there are two situations I dread: courtrooms and hospitals. So to say I was anxious is putting it mildly.

After having a chance to review my case file my name was called and I followed the hearing judge down narrow corridors into a small windowless chamber. After some orientational instruction the tape recorder’s play button was pushed and away we went.

Since no one from the Greater Los Angeles Zoo Association or the L.A. Zoo saw it fit to show up and dispute my appeal, it basically came down to me restating the letter I sent to the EDD after they denied my claim.

Less than 20 minutes later it was over and I came away with the strong sense that the judge would be overturning the EDD’s decision, which definitely added to my feelings of elation and relief that the ordeal was over. Even if the ruling isn’t in my favor, I’m just glad to have gotten through it. Time to put it away and move on.

And I celebrated by deviating from my diet with a McGriddles value meal from McDonald’s that I got on the way home. I don’t know what’s worse, eating the tasty but craptastic food items or acknowledging their abject lack of nutrition on my fitday.com journal (the McG has how many calories!?). Nothing to worry about though as I’m going to further celebrate this positive turn of events with a 20-mile bike ride with an hour on the treadmill down at the YMCA thrown in for good measure.

I’m not sure exactly when (other than it was more than likely when I was gainfully employed with a regular paycheck and some disposable income) but at some point I apparently succumbed to a subscriber solicitation and ordered National Geographic’s Almanac of American History, which arrived a couple weeks ago.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great book that packs a lot of easily navigable information between its covers. But I finally got around to opening the included invoice and my eyes did one of those cartoon pops at the $50 price tag — something just not very navigable in these post-job pennywise times.

Sure, I thought about just keeping the book and ignoring what would become a postal parade of invoices followed by past due and then way past due notices before the arrival of the vague threats of involving credit agencies and damaging my credit rating. Are you kidding, I grew up ordering the proverbial 11 albums or tapes for one-cent from Columbia House and then never fulfilling my side of the bargain. Eventually the plea-threats for the money owed would peter out and when that happened I would order me up another 11 and go through the whole thing again.

But that was then when I was a broke punk and this is now and even though I’m just an older punk perhaps as broke, I have much respect for National Geographic and figured I’d call up their customer service depot and broach the subject of returning the volume. After explaining that I enjoyed the book but just couldn’t accept the half-hundie ding I figured at worst I’d be on the hook for the return postage. But the very nice person I spoke with told me I wouldn’t even have to suffer that.

Sure enough in the mail yesterday came a postage-due merchandise return label. All I have to do is pack it up and bike it over to the post office.

This is how it should always be.

So this morning I call up the company handling my 403b (the nonprofit version of a 401k) made stagnant and soon subject to administrative fees because of my change in employment in November.

I’d called the company up at the end of that month to see what my options were, and after hearing the rep out told him I’d decided to take the 30% tax chomp and cash out. I was wisely advised to wait until the new year to do the disbursement so that I wouldn’t absorb the slam on my ‘05 taxes and I agreed that was a capital idea. What I wasn’t told was that the paperwork to get my money could have been mailed to me so that I could have it filled out and ready to go right now.

Instead, as mentioned at the top, I called today to get the ball rolling and I’m told it could be up to five days for me to receive the forms I need to complete. However long it takes for me to turn those forms around and get them back to the company, then I’m looking at up to two weeks for the check to be cut and sent to me. So essentially the worst-case scenario is it could be up to four long weeks for my money to get to me. Gah!

I stewed over this all morning and finally called the company back. After being on hold for close to 10 minutes I finally get a rep on the line and he says how can I help you and I tell him I’ve got a bone to pick.

“Very good,” he said. “Let’s have it.” So I laid out the background and my predicament as stated above and said how it woulda/coulda/shoulda been oh so very nice had the initial rep I spoke with back in November come up with an “in the meantime while we’re waiting for 2005 to die, howsabout I send you out those forms so you can John Hancock ‘em and have it all ready to roll when the clock strikes 12:01 a.m. on 01.01.06 perhaps shaving upwards of five/six days offa what may be a worst-case scenario wait of maybe like 28 days.”

There was a beat or two of silence on the other line and the rep totally agreed with me that perhaps had I encountered a more intuitive member of their customer service pool I would now be mailing out my forms rather than sitting here fuming. The good news is that by calling back and diplomaticaly venting I was advised by this rep that I could shave a few days off that wait time by faxing the required forms in and requesting my money be deposited directly into my checking account. Nice. He even gave me a direct toll-free number to the department that will be in charge of getting me my green in case I wanted to check the status of the disbursement. Very nice.