Being as I’ve mostly been watching football mostly on the broadcast box this past couple weeks, I’ve been abnormally subjected to the flow of repetitive crapaganda from truck makers who want me to buy their stuff. A meaningless sampling of the most offensive marketing schemes:

1) Chevy’s fauxtriotic “This is your truck” TV campaign backed by John Mellencamp squeezing his blandly genericana’d “This is our country” with all the energy of a tired old constipated man makes both the vehicle manufacturer and the musican more loathsome to me with each subsequent airing I see.

2) Ditto the loathing for Dodge’s idiotic Rock ’em-Sock ’em Robots spot. The match-winning blue robot leaving the ring can bash open a steel door, crash his head through a brick wall, scare a pair of hipsters into running off down the street, but can’t so much as pummel even a scratch onto the grill of the parked half-ton pickup he squares off on. “Ram Tough?” More like “Damn Enough!”

3) And then there’s the Nissan Titan spots that drag open with the first couple of dark and descending guitar notesfrom Black Sabbath’s “Iron Man.” While there’s no doubt it’s a classic headbangin’ song, the first thing it makes me do is remind myself I’ve gotta put Mercury on my list.