Dear Driftwood Dairy Delivery Driver,

With all due respect: you’re a a big fat milk-moving liarhead.

You showed me that safety is not your goal while crowding by me at speed on my bike far too closely in your big-ass truck with both of us eastbound in the No. 2 lane on Melrose Avenue passing Paramount Studios Wednesday evening.

I would have happily and diplomatically delivered to you one of my handy — if over-written — informational flyers on how to properly pass cyclists with care — if I’d had one to give.

But instead when I found I was without any after I caught up with you a couple lights later (thus and thereby showing you that passing me so dangerously saved no time in getting you a couple blocks down the road), I instead opted to pixelize the signage on the back of your vehicle and narc you the fuck out call the number up the next day to report that while safety may indeed be your goal in terms of doing your best not to crash into buildings or drive off bridges or stuff like that while in your never-ending quest to distribute your company’s cow juice, in my specific case it soooooo was not a priority.

In explaining how you pinched me between your truck and the cars parked at the curb as you drove by me with barely more than a foot or two to spare and without the slightest consideration for the rules of the road, the young woman I was speaking with was very polite in return. At the conclusion of our conversation when she asked me if I had any other comments I’d like to make, I told her that I hoped you would be counseled to have greater consideration for those of us taking to the roads on two wheels.

It was the least I could do.

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Will Campbell arrived in town via the maternity ward at Good Sam Hospital way back in OneNineSixFour and has never stopped calling Los Angeles home. Presently he lives in Silver Lake with his wife Susan, their cat Rocky, dogs Terra and Hazel, and a red-eared slider turtle named Mater. Blogging since 2001, Will's web endeavors extend back to 1995 with, a comprehensive theater site that was well received but ever-short on capital (or a business model). The pinnacle of his online success (which speaks volumes) arrived in 1997, when much to his surprise, a hobby site he'd built called VisuaL.A. was named "best website" in Los Angeles magazine's annual "Best of L.A." issue. He enjoys experiencing (and writing about) pretty much anything creative, explorational and/or adventurous, loves his ebike, is a better tennis player than he is horr golfer, and a lover of all creatures great and small -- emphasis on "all."