I Spent The Following Nine Seconds With An Asshat Motorist And Lived To Tell About It

Biking south of 8th Street on La Brea I was “passed and slashed” as I like to call it — aka: cut off or turned in front of — by an inattentive and irresponsible motorist. Below are the nine frames/seconds of the incident captured by my handlebar cam.

But first let me break ’em down for you:

First frame: With the green light at 8th Street I’m moving through the intersection at approximately 15 mph. The motorist is still out of frame somewhere behind me on my left.

Second frame: I’m midway across the intersection.

Third frame: I’m across 8th.

Fourth frame: Our motorist arrives and passes me. I notice the signal and the vehicle’s sudden reduced speed so I ease off the pedals and coast, sensing trouble.

Fifth frame: Just as I thought, the motorist is going to fire the car across my bow into the Goodwill parking lot.

Sixth frame: She’s going in! The driver doesn’t not so much as glance over her shoulder to see if the burly motherfucking bicyclist she just passed a literal second ago — you know, the one with the RIGHT OF WAY — might be hindered by her sudden and unsafe maneuver. She just goes for it. In response, that thumb in the upper right of the frame means I’m on the brakes. Hard.

Seventh frame: I manage to slow enough to avoid any attempt to occupy the space she’s now fully bogarting.

Eight frame: I’m at a full-stop as she completes her turn.

Ninth frame: Here I mull over a broad list of potential responses, but I’ll spare you the spittle-inflected invective I decided upon.

Here’s a slideshow of the nine snaps:

As usual, I’m always glad one of us was paying attention, and always sad it has to be me.

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Will Campbell arrived in town via the maternity ward at Good Sam Hospital way back in OneNineSixFour and has never stopped calling Los Angeles home. Presently he lives in Silver Lake with his wife Susan, their cat Rocky, dogs Terra and Hazel, and a red-eared slider turtle named Mater. Blogging since 2001, Will's web endeavors extend back to 1995 with laonstage.com, a comprehensive theater site that was well received but ever-short on capital (or a business model). The pinnacle of his online success (which speaks volumes) arrived in 1997, when much to his surprise, a hobby site he'd built called VisuaL.A. was named "best website" in Los Angeles magazine's annual "Best of L.A." issue. He enjoys experiencing (and writing about) pretty much anything creative, explorational and/or adventurous, loves his ebike, is a better tennis player than he is horr golfer, and a lover of all creatures great and small -- emphasis on "all."