Yeah, that’s right. I’m talking about the cooler above. Just hear me out.

You see, our megatastic top-of-the-line, barely-two-month-old Samsung fridge fully crapped out on Sunday. Up and died. It doesn’t refrigerate. It doesn’t freeze. It doesn’t make ice, but it sure melts it good. Yep, this state-of-the-art appliance is now just a state-of-the-art piece of shit that just sits there doing nothing.

In addition to Susan being righteously pissed at such a revolting development, she expressed concern about all the food inside the appliance going bad. A valid concern as we’re one of those few those sad households who don’t just happen to have a spare fridge we can pull out of our back pockets and use while we wait the one — maybe two! — business days until a Samsung-authorized repair service can call us to make an appointment. Grrrrrrrrr. And then gawd knows how much longer until the appointment or appointments required to make the repair — assuming repairs can be made!

Cue the stream of invective.

So in that deathless cuss-laden interim, all the meats and cheeses and such that were in the respective refrigerated and freezer sections of the now-deceased hunk of muzzafuzzin’ junk is at good risk of spoiling. But! While we don’t have a back-up fridge to fall back on, I realized that we do have a spare monster camping cooler, which I dutifully brought it up from the basement.

Now the cooler itself is not the Valentine’s Day gift. More specifically it’s the combination of the cooler and the 60-pounds of ice that I went and bought and put into the cooler, followed by most of the stuff from our perished fridge so that we might be able to not have to throw any of the perishables out.

I know what you’re thinking: GENIUS!

I’m betting Susan’s going to get home from work tonight and go from grumbly to less grumbly and probably punch me in the arm for being so solutions-oriented — and trust me, a punch in the arm from my Bay-Bee is high praise.

But lest you go thinking that I consider a cooler full of ice to be the height of romance, she’s also gonna find these waiting for her.