Non An iPhone But’s A Toppest Simulatory

Not that anyone’s counting but me, but I’ve now entered into my second month of waiting for my iPhone to arrive. OK, so it’s not all that bad. Officially it’s really Business Day No. 5 of my up-to-21-day iPhone delivery waiting period that AT&T requires to fulfill my order (No. 8 in nonbusiness-day count, but that’s just silly fantasizing).

Quick recap: I opted to hook myself up through AT&T because my company offers a 20% discount on calling plans, and because my hating of waiting in lines is quantified when it involves an Apple store at any of its greater L.A. venues. That’s right: I would rather wait 21 days of my life than 90-120 minutes at The Grove/Beverly Center/Glendale Galleria/Century City

But there is a method to such madness. See, if I went the Apple Store route and emerged with the precious device after a couple hours, I would also exit with some requisite and overpriced accessories because I’d be unable to stop myself from rationalizing the expenditure of up to:

  • $34.95 for a protective skin within which to wrap the device in silicone-y safety, and
  • $19.95 for an anti-scratch screen protector

With tax that’d be another $60, along with the priceless pit-of-the-stomach sucker-punched feeling of being ripped off a staggering amount.

So since I have all this leisure time between the order’s placement and the phone’s delivery, I went online and clicked “buy” on a two-fer deal of a skin and a screen protector I found for $9.95 (tax and shipping brought it up to $15.12).


The duo arrived yesterday. The skin even features a cardboard insert that allows me to pretend it’s an actual phone, FTW. And the screen guard’s “Engrish” translation on its packaging (at right above) has an entertainment value that makes it well worth the purchase. Some highlights:

  • “Suits for all digital products LCD”
  • “Guards ayainst tarnishes”
  • “static adgerence, no remainder”
  • “Toppest Optician From Japan”

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Will Campbell arrived in town via the maternity ward at Good Sam Hospital way back in OneNineSixFour and has never stopped calling Los Angeles home. Presently he lives in Silver Lake with his wife Susan, their cat Rocky, dogs Terra and Hazel, and a red-eared slider turtle named Mater. Blogging since 2001, Will's web endeavors extend back to 1995 with, a comprehensive theater site that was well received but ever-short on capital (or a business model). The pinnacle of his online success (which speaks volumes) arrived in 1997, when much to his surprise, a hobby site he'd built called VisuaL.A. was named "best website" in Los Angeles magazine's annual "Best of L.A." issue. He enjoys experiencing (and writing about) pretty much anything creative, explorational and/or adventurous, loves his ebike, is a better tennis player than he is horr golfer, and a lover of all creatures great and small -- emphasis on "all."