[sic]

So far, so good. Since my first roll Friday morning across the stretch of Ballona Creek Bikeway that includes the spot where a cyclist was attacked and robbed last week, I’ve encountered nothing that would even be considered remotely menacing.

Here’s the timelapse from this morning’s creekside ride from Dusquene in Culver City to Inglewood Boulevard in Mar Vista:

Boldly Going: Ballona Creek Bikeway - 08.02.25 from Will Campbell on Vimeo.

Even though the first few trips haven’t shown me any dangers lurking out there, I retrieved an item from the depths of a desk drawer that has about a 50/50 chance of either helping me or getting me in trouble.

No it’s not a gun or a knife. It’s a telescoping steel baton that I bought a year or so ago when I worked at DirecTV for a few months and was biking home through Inglewood, Crenshaw, Leimert Park and east along Exposition Boulevard. Fully collapsed it’s about seven inches long. Fully extended it’s about 21. It came with a handy belt holster. But even unconcealed its pretty much illegal to carry and I never had the guts to do so. I never even brought it with in my backpack a time or two because how often does one have time to unzip and retrieve something when you’re in the process of getting jumped? Not often.

Anyway, I brought it out into the light and took it out in the backyard and swung it around. It felt good in my hand and I imagined an epic scenario where I produce the weapon much to the surprise of the thugs closing in on me. Then I imagined the baton being taken from me and used against me. And so I whacked the thing against a river rock until it bent and would not compact, then I dismantled it into its segments and put it in the recycle bin.

I’m mostly a firm believer of it being better to have something and not need it rather than vice versa, but that doesn’t apply to fear.

Ready to show it off and begin getting familiar with my new iPhone, I came home Wednesday evening triumphant against the lethargic salesborg force at the Culver City AT&T store whose entire lack of urgency or expediency brought about a 65-minute bout of standing around until my name was called (while the apparent supervisor busied herself with menial tasks such as restocking brochures — everything but jumping into the fray of waiters). But unfortunately shortly after I arrived home any celebratory orientation had to be canceled because Ranger opted to tangle with a visiting skunk in the backyard and I was unfortunate in witnessing the moment of our wonderful dog taking both barrels of stank right in the kisser — including a substantial portion that went directly into her mouth. Ga-ross!

Unfortunately, I know what that experience is like, albeit on a much lesser scale. And this makes Ranger’s second odoriffic encounter with the species.

As the young skunk made its escape through the gap in the back of the south fence and into the neighbor’s yard, we made the mistake of letting Ranger into the house where she frantically scrambled around seeking relief that would not come by rubbing and scraping her slathering mug against rugs in the dining room, bedroom and kitchen, thoroughly infusing them with odor and necessitating their removal from the house to be discarded and replaced.

Finally containing the dawg in the kitchen Susan stayed with her while I whipped up a batch of skunk remedy (1 quart hydrogen peroxide, 1 quart water, quarter-cup baking soda, 2-3 tablespoons liquid soap — it really works) and Ranger and I then adjourned to the bathtub where she had calmed quite a bit and was tremendously cooperative as I scrubbed her up and rinsed her down.

Oh well. She needed a bath anyway.

The really cool part was after all was done and most of the odor had either alleviated (or we had just become accustomed to it) I finally got a chance to sit down with my new toy. Yeah, but that fun didn’t last long because after I connected it to my computer to register it and then followed the recommendation to update the phone to the latest software patch, the phone crashed, displaying only an image that urged me to plug the phone into a USB port and access iTunes on the computer. Trouble was a vicious cycle then repeated where a dialog box came up demanding that the iPhone’s software needed to be restored, so I’d OK that ordr and it would get almost to the end of that process before an error message would pop up advising that the operation couldn’t be completed because of some sort of fatal Error No. 6.

After multiple reboots and repeats delivering me to the same dead end, I called up tech support and a fine voicemail guide repeatedly attempted to steer me through a procedure that — surprise! — didn’t produce anything but the same result, FTW.

It wasn’t until 6 a.m. the next morning (yesterday) that I was able to get a real live technoid on the line and we were able to find the culprit: I had plugged in to a USB port on a hub when I should have plugged into a port directly from the computer. After rectifying that oversight, the software restoration and upgrade went great and my gadget was successfully revived.

Maniacally rhetorical question: Would it have been too much trouble to add the text “Make sure you’re plugged into a USB port directly to the computer” when I kept on being advised about the FAIL due to cryptic Error No. 6? GAH!

Anyway, the iPhone is working its magicness, and the dog and house is less stinky. But the area rugs still sit along the side of the house waiting to be cut up and thrown away.

This is my to first attempt at blogging from my new iPhone. Fascinating stuff, yes?

…Uh. No.

Not that anyone’s counting but me, but I’ve now entered into my second month of waiting for my iPhone to arrive. OK, so it’s not all that bad. Officially it’s really Business Day No. 5 of my up-to-21-day iPhone delivery waiting period that AT&T requires to fulfill my order (No. 8 in nonbusiness-day count, but that’s just silly fantasizing).

Quick recap: I opted to hook myself up through AT&T because my company offers a 20% discount on calling plans, and because my hating of waiting in lines is quantified when it involves an Apple store at any of its greater L.A. venues. That’s right: I would rather wait 21 days of my life than 90-120 minutes at The Grove/Beverly Center/Glendale Galleria/Century City

But there is a method to such madness. See, if I went the Apple Store route and emerged with the precious device after a couple hours, I would also exit with some requisite and overpriced accessories because I’d be unable to stop myself from rationalizing the expenditure of up to:

• $34.95 for a protective skin within which to wrap the device in silicone-y safety, and
• $19.95 for an anti-scratch screen protector

With tax that’d be another $60, along with the priceless pit-of-the-stomach sucker-punched feeling of being ripped off a staggering amount.

So since I have all this leisure time between the order’s placement and the phone’s delivery, I went online and clicked “buy” on a two-fer deal of a skin and a screen protector I found for $9.95 (tax and shipping brought it up to $15.12).

•

The duo arrived yesterday. The skin even features a cardboard insert that allows me to pretend it’s an actual phone, FTW. And the screen guard’s “Engrish” translation on its packaging (at right above) has an entertainment value that makes it well worth the purchase. Some highlights:

• “Suits for all digital products LCD”
• “Guards ayainst tarnishes”
• “static adgerence, no remainder”
• “Toppest Optician From Japan”

Second of a series of posts about Nokia’s N95 8GB mobile device, which
they’re letting me play with in exchange for being opinionated about.

OK, so this morning one of our cats — Jiggy if you must know — was rolling around on the floor by my desk chair and so I engaged the N95 8GB’s video camera and grabbed some really grainy and dimly lighted footage, which I won’t be sharing because it’s the epitomy of home movie lameness meaning any entertainment value is restricted to that of the person taking the video.

But the point I want to make is not that the device has easy-to-access video capability, but that after I captured the clip, I was then presented with options as to what I wanted to do with it, such as transfer it via Bluetooth to a connected device or post it online. I opted for the Bluetooth function since I’d already bridged that divide between the phone and my home computer and in a couple of button pushes it was smoothly being sent to a storage shed on my desktop Mac.

If you’re rolling your eyes because Bluetooth connectivity is soooooooo five minutes ago, please understand that the bite radius of my Moto Razr V2’s Bluetoothiness is restricted to a sometimes reeeeeeally weak connection between the phone and its companion (sold separately) HS820 headset. So to finally experience the awesome power of the now-standard functionality is very cool.

What is NOT very cool is the N95 8GB’s price. The lowest I found this morning was $559, and I won’t even mention the highest — yes I will: $WTF — I mean: $722. Seven hundred and twenty-two dollars! Gah!

It’s my understanding the new entry level iPhone coming July 11 (which probably means September 24th for me once all the geekglee dies down and supply can accommodate demand) is $199, and the beefier version might be what, $299… $399? Even at that far more reasonable price point I’m gulping, and ain’t nothing gonna get me to climb into the $400 or higher elevations.

And yeah, I already now it’s gonna cost me around $70 to AT&T each month for the privilege of having one of Steve Jobs’ newest and finest… but for the past two years I’ve been paying $50 per to have one of Moto’s oldest and lamest with Verizon so an extra $20 ain’t no deal breaker.

First of a series of posts about Nokia’s N95 8GB mobile device, which
they’re letting me play with in exchange for being opinionated about.

About a week ago I get an email out of the blue from a nice marketing rep at Nokia asking me if I want a three-week long playdate with their N95 8GB mobile device. Given my lack of hits/uniques on this blog I honestly have no idea why I’m being given such an opportunity but that didn’t stop me from writing him back telling the marketing rep that his timing couldn’t have been better because my two-year prison term with Verizon Wireless was ending this summer and while I figured it was high time to get me some iPhone (or maybe Blackberry) action I wasn’t averse to trying out equipment that alleges to be in that same league. What’s the next step? I asked.

He writes me back telling me the next step is completing and returning the user agreement he’s attached, which basically says treat the phone as if you own it, use it like a madman, blog/tweet/flickr the crap out of how you feel about the thing and what you do with it, and send it back in the postage-paid package when your time’s up.

So I complete the user agreement, email it back and without further communication or instruction, blam! a package arrives at the office Friday morning and it’s my temporarily very own Nokia N95 8GB. Whoa!

Right out of the box I love that the thing is hardly bigger than my Canon SD1000 camera. I also love the built-in five-megapixel camera equipped with a Zeiss lens. Very top shelf. But also right out of the box I’m bummed because the thing lacks a full QWERTY keypad. One of the reasons I’ve not leapt large into the mobile web, text-messaging mobile-blogging pool is because I can’t stand having to conjure text on a standard phone keypad. Some people can adapt to that format and text like blazes. Me I text like molasses, hating it when I have to press the 3 key three times for an “F” or the 9 key four times for a “Z.” Not that I text a whole lotta Zs, but still, it’s a big letdown that this new slider-style phone doesn’t reveal anything but the same old thing.

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About a month ago I probably glazed most eyes over writing about the concerns I have regarding the proposed satellite radio acquisition of XM by its rival Sirius. I won’t bore you again with the specifics other than to say that as a long-time Sirius subscriber I’m still just as wary of the rumors that the individual companies’ existing hardware might not accommodate the combined programming of the new single entity and thus require some sort of cash outlay for a new radio.

The vague explanation that remains on the Sirius Merger website coupled  to the silence that’s greeted my specific correspondence to Sirius on the topic has served to only increase my apprehension, and prompted me to write my U.S. senators about it.

I heard first back from Barbara Boxer whose platitude-loaded form letter pretty much boiled down to “this is an important issue,” and “thanks for writing to me.” Thanks for nothing, Babs.

Would that Sen. Feinstein had been so generic. Instead her response blew me away with how much she — or more specifically one of her staffers — blew it in misreading my letter as one expressing wholehearted support of the proposed merger:

Dear Mr. Campbell,

Thank you for writing regarding your support for the proposed merger between Sirius and XM satellite radio. I appreciate your taking the time to share your views.

The Department of Justice and the Federal Trade Commission share concurrent jurisdiction over merger enforcement. It is their duty to carefully review, among other things, the potential implication of mergers on consumers and businesses. This is a crucial function of both agencies and it is often a very lengthy process.

Although mergers do not require congressional approval, the Senate Judiciary Committee has oversight jurisdiction over mergers and held a hearing last year to consider the implications of the proposed merger. Although I was unable to attend that hearing, I have been following this potential merger closely because, if it takes place, it could have a major effect on the media market in this country. On one hand we would go from a market with two satellite radio companies, competing fiercely to develop their content and attract subscribers, to just one satellite radio company. This could limit the choices available to consumers. On the other hand, I recognize that XM and Sirius have raised concerns that there is the potential for both companies to go out of business if the merger does not go forward, leaving the satellite radio market void. Please be assured that I will keep your support for the merger in mind should the Senate consider these issues further.

Once again, thank you for writing and I hope you will continue to write to me about issues of importance to you. If I can be of further assistance, please do not hesitate to contact my Washington, DC staff at (202) 224‑3841.

Best regards.

Sincerely yours,
Dianne Feinstein
United States Senator

My “support” of the merger? Of course I WTF’d an email right back at Dianne:

Senator Feinstein,

Did your staff even READ my letter? I ask this with pointed incredulity because you reference my “support” of the Sirius/XM merger twice in your response when in fact my letter to you expressed the reservations I have regarding the acquisition of XM by Sirius and how it might make current subscribers’ existing equipment obsolete, thus necessitating costly purchases of new hardware in order to take advantage of the new hybrid programming.

If you or your staff even bother to read this I only hope it’s clear how absolutely disappointing  it is to be so grossly misinterpreted.

Sincerely,
William Campbell

Brief backstory: I have an Alphasmart 3000, a somewhat goofy PlaySkool-looking AA battery-operated, bare bones portable word-processor that I bought prior to our Africa honeymoon trip in 2005 because I wanted something rugged and durable and cheap ($200) that, given our locations in the Rwandan countyside, the Serengeti (pictured at right tapping away on it into the dark of the night within our tented camp) and other various outposts with uncertain access to electric power, wasn’t in need of recharging. The device performed flawlessly throughout the more than two weeks abroad. I wrote this journal of that trip on it.

I barely used the thing since. In fact, the only time was in the summer of the following year when I brought it with us on our 4,500-mile roadtrip through California, Oregon, Washington, Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, Utah, and Arizona. I’d also brought our old Apple laptop with us as well and so I hadn’t much use for the Alphasmart.

Which brings us to today when I turned it on for the first time in practically two years and found the 1,421 forgotten words I’d written still stored in its memory, recounting a bit about our travels across the famed Beartooth Highway on to and through Yellowstone.

About 356 words from the end there’s a break where I’ve apparently stopped writing about Yellowstone and several days later picked the thing up to type a few emotional words after we discovered the four abandoned pups on the side of the highway in Monument Valley — and that ends abruptly, too.

For wont of a real blog post today, after the jump it’s all copied and pasted (with a couple links to pics) in full unedited glory.

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The satellite radio scene got bumped to a bigger blip on the radar in large part because of the announcement this week that the Justice Department’s anti-trust busters have given the proposed $4.6-billion merger of Sirius and XM corporations a hearty thumbs-up.

Chances are this doesn’t mean much to most people who receive their radiowaves terrestrially, but as a long-time Sirius subscriber I’m paying it some attention, primarily because of the rumors I’ve heard that should the merger be approved by the FCC, my current Sirius equipment might become obsolete in that I would still receive Sirius programming, but not whatever former-XM channels get ported over. In order to do that I would of course need to “upgrade” my hardware at a cha-ching of a several hundies.

Coincidentally this morning I got a call from a Sirius telemarketer looking to send me a new free radio with a 45% discounted additional subscription ($irius is $et up in $uch a way that one can’t get a new radio added to a current $ub$cription; each box need$ to have it$ own… but that’$ another topic entirely and all right I’ll stop it with the dollar signs).

I expressed my concern to the telemarketer as to buying equipment now that might be programming impaired post-merger and the representative put me on with her supervisor who assured me that would not happen, and when I asked him to provide me with something in writing, he instead directed me to siriusmerger.com where he told me the writing I sought was there in black and white.

Sort of.

Here’s what Sirius has posted:

“If our merger is approved, the combined company will offer consumers the best of each service on your current radio - at a price well below the cost of the two services today.”

Sounds good, right? On the surface yeah, but my skepticality looks at “best of each service on your current radio” and sees a position that craftily reinforces the separation of the two entities. Notice the use of “each” and the singular “service” instead of “both” and “services.” Big difference.

But wait, there’s more at the bottom of that page:

“We guarantee no radio will become obsolete. Your current radio will continue to provide you with the programming you enjoy, whether you keep your current service or change to a new subscription plan. “

Again at first glance this looks solid. But on second pass it’s basically a thinly veiled statement of the obvious that tells me Sirius radios will continue to receive Sirius programming and XM radios will continue to receive XM programming.

As a result of that cagy language and at Sirius’ invitation I utilized a form letter page on their website to send the following email to my elected officials in Washington, DC, and the FCC, with the subject line: Concerns About Hardware Obsolesence Following Sirius/XM Merger.

Honorable Senators, Representative, and the FCC:

In the guarantee posted to the Sirius website, it states:

“…that that no Sirius radio will become obsolete as a result of the merger. The two companies have millions of radios in the market, including many that are factory-installed in automobiles. After the merger, you will not need another radio to continue to receive the programming you now enjoy.”

This statement is ambiguous and frankly disingenuous in that it does not specifically address new programming. While I understand that my current Sirius hardware will continue to receive the Sirius programming I presently access, what remains unaddressed and vague is whether or not that hardware will allow me to access any new programming brought over from the former XM.

I am a long-time and mostly satisfied Sirius subscriber but since the buyout was announced  I have abstained and will continue to abstain from purchasing new hardware in this pre-merger interim. I am satisfied that existing Sirius programming will be available to me with my old radio, but I’m not going to upgrade my equipment if there’s even the slightest doubt that it will not support any new programming should the merger be completed.

Unless this is specifically addressed by Sirius I will wait out the merger before buying rather than buy now only to be forced buy again to enjoy any combined programming — which would not happen because I would cancel my subscription rather than allow myself to suffer such bait-and-switch tactics.

Sincerely,
William Campbell

I have one of those  Swiss Army knives, the kind that has I don’t know how many blades and tools and such. Among it all there’s a pair of scissors, tweezers… even a little magnifying glass for starting fires should you require such functionality.  As a result of attempting to use it (not to start a fire) my left index finger’s tip is wrapped in a big bandage (that’s making it hard to type).

Sometimes the knife travels with me in a pocket or pack and sometimes it gets left somewhere… home, office, car. Of late it’s been in my office where I put it to occasional and successful use slicing up apples. Today I was not so successful slicing up a persimmon, one from a giant bag that a coworker had brought in and left in the lunchroom for any who wanted one. Or 12.

I suppose my injury could be so worse, but I couldn’t have failed in the simple act of cutting a piece of fruit more self-loathingly.

After opening up the longest of the knife’s blades without incident I placed the tip at the spot on the persimmon where I wanted to begin the cut. As it was a moderately ripe persimmon I didn’t have to apply much pressure to facilitate the downward slicing action.

Suddenly encountering unexpected resistance I “leaned into it” just enough to drive the blade all the way through and quickly to the table, where it came to an abrupt rest and right after so did my left index finger on what should have been the harmless back of the blade.

Should have been.

But no, see, what I had unwittingly and carelessly opted to do was for some head-shakingly unfathomable and painfully laughable lack of reason was invert the entire knife so the business side was up and the useless side was the one being employed to slash… thus the surprise increased resistance I met.

And speaking of surprise, what became immediately and unmistakably apparent to me in the form of a wicked cold-burning stinging sensation emanating from my left index finger was that its tip did not come to a stop against the back of the blade. Oh no. Instead it hit the sharp edge of the blade for that initial cut and then kept on going… or should I say the stainless steel blade kept going into my finger until I’d butterflied it but good.

Being that I was at work I was forced to cancel the parade of invective that immediately lined up to march out of my mouth. Besides, I had more important things to do than spew foul language in full reproach. Like bleed. A lot. I swear the only thing that bleeds as much as a head when wounded is a finger. I wish I didn’t know this first hand — ha: hand, get it?

Anyway, my injured digit and I adjourned to the sink in the lunch room where I ran cold water over and in and through the wound, hissing when it hurt, which it did. After some isopropyl alcohol spray, first aid ointment and a large fingertip bandage, all that was left was a cartoonish throbbing that served as punctuating proof of my stoopidity, and the uneaten persimmon — which I finished slicing without further injury but then threw out after one achingly astrigent bite.