bi [sic] le

Urban Velo and Wired’s Gadget Lab blog are reporting that Specialized is not only hopping on the readymade fixed-gear blandwagon, but the bikemaker has apparently opted to deliver the “cheap” Globe Roll 2 ($800) and Roll 1 ($600) already color-schemed as a “Ghost Bike” either because Specialized has no clue what they’ve done — or perhaps the better to minimize delays in installing the bike as a memorial wherever the hipster noob-rider gets killed at on it.

Stupidity or genius. Either way amazing.

UPDATE (5:24 p.m.): Thanks to Brad from Urban Velo for pointing out in the comments that my computer screen sucks — and for opting not to slag on my eyesight. “The bike is baby blue, as pictured. Look at the detail shots,” he wrote after curtly demanding I adjust my monitor.

Sure enough upon closer unadjusted inspection the frame is a lighter shade of paaaaale baby blue (I’d almost call it preterm baby blue because the color looks like it could use a week or two more to mature). Plus there’s also the chromed bits (that I saw on my uncalibrated unadjusted monitor all by myself without them needing to be pointed out) so I take it aaaaall back.

Wait, no I don’t: white tires, white rims, white saddle and white bar grips… all still moan “Ghooooooost Biiiiike” and in fact the frame’s fey hue might make the ride look even more haunting at night.

So the backstory is I dropped $1.40 on a Diet Pepsi from the vending machine, but the contraption is really basic and lame because it literally drops the bottles free-fall style down the front of the case. And this time the soda got wedged in near the bottom row. I went to get my camera to get a picture of it and coworker Chris came into the breakroom while I was snapping it. He saw my dilemma and suggested what I had been reluctantly thinking of attempting: drop another $1.40 on another Diet Pepsi in the hope that it’ll drop and dislodge the first one. It was a risk, but I figured what the hell, and I decided to capture footage of the event.

Let’s let the video tell the rest of the success:

Ah the joys of online commerce. I know mistakes happen, but maaaan! Like last night I got home to find my order from nashbar.com had arrived — the one I wrote about a couple days ago that was a compromise to me spending a load of green on a new bike I don’t need.

So I’m looking at the box and right away I realize it’s just entirely too small to be holding a Rock Shox fork… unless for some odd reason the fork comes unassembled, which it damn well better not. So I open it up thinking well maybe it’s a backorder issue, but inside I find that’s not at all the case.

Inside along with the headset and the tools I ordered to install the fork I find… this set of Panaracer Dart Classic folding front mountain bike tires:

Getting past my initial WTF, I quickly come to understand there are two main elements that contributed to this major failure of Warehouse 101. The first one is that if you look at the white label on the packaging you’ll see that it indeed reads “Rock Shox Dart 2 MTB Fork.” The second is whoever the idiot was who filled my order, identified only as “Packer No. 81″ on my invoice. You know you’re a candidate for Unemployee Of The Month when you work in a major bicycle retailer’s warehouse and cannot recognize the fundamental difference between a tire and a fork.

If there’s a defense for this meatbag, it’s two-fold: the fork and tires share the same model name: Dart, and the tires were mislabeled as forks. But it’s a weak argument at best, especially when you go to No. 81’s mental transcripts that I’ve obtained via subpoena:

“Lessee. Last item on the list on this ordur here sez ‘Rock Shox Dart 2 Mountain Bike Fork,’ but this thang I’m holding shur don’t look like no fork. Don’t smell like no fork neither. Fact is it smells like a tire. Just to be shur lemme check the ordur against the label. Hmmm. Ordur sez Item numbur is RS-Dart 2. Labul on the item says RS-Dart 2. We have a match! Descripshun on the ordur sez Rock Shox Dart 2 MTB Fork. Descripshun on the labul says Rock Shox Dart 2 MTB Fork. Anuthur match! Well dang. It still don’t look like no fork. But who am I to argyoo!? Let’s pack the tires up with the othur items strangely involved in the installashun of a fork and get on to the next ordur!”

So in the end I call up Nashbar’s 24-7 customer service and a rep matter of factly advises me that a return pre-paid label will be sent out for me to ship back the tires, but that the best they could do in getting the forks that I wanted to be able to install and test out this weekend (and would have had if anyone with some semblance of an IQ had fulfilled my order!) would be next Tuesday.

“There’s no way to get them to me Saturday?”

“No sir.”

Gah!

So I’m thinking the best I can do in returning the tires would be March. Maybe never.

UPDATE (08:05 a.m.): You know I wrote them a letter (after the jump).

(more…)

Last week I was drooling over all manner of new mountain machines. This week I still am — and further stoked by the announced enthusiasms of my friend Michael and his lady Crystal to hit the trails and an invitation to join them — but I’m glad I demonstrated some fiscal restraintitude. Simply put, I can’t authorize a spending bill earmarking such beaucoup buckz for a bike that in all likelihood I’ll ride but once a week — more like once a month after the buyer’s remorse and the shiny new wear off. If that.

Especially since the mountain bike I have right now is fine and not suffering from anything permanently disabling. All it needs is for me to quit half-assing around working the problem instead of the solution.

So instead of an outlay of $600, I’m dropping less than a third of that for a new  fork, a new headset and some required tools/accessories, and that should arrive in time to allow me a visit to the Bicycle Kitchen on Saturday followed by a ride in the Verdugos either afterward or Sunday morning.

In the wake of the recent uptick in citations being issued to cyclists on unregistered bikes, my Giant OCR roadie is now legal. After work yesterday I rode it over to LAPD Central Division on 6th Street and Maple in the heart of downtown’s skid row — the only police station* in the entire city that issues bike licenses — and after presenting my ID and completing a short form, I was presented with the two stickers shown above, the blue/silver license and the yellow/white renewal sticker.

What’s extra special is that the license expires at the end of 2010, at which time renewal for another 2-year period is required. I didn’t even bother to ask why the license expires.

But I did ask if I’ll receive renewal notification in the mail.”

“No, you have to come back and renew in person,” I was told.

Lovely. Bureaucratically paleolithic, counter productive and patently ridiculous, but lovely.

And actually I’ll be back down on skid row in person on Thursday evening to register Le Noir, that is, if my trip to the Bike Kitchen tonight to install the new headset and forks goes successfully.

* The only other place bikes can be registered is on the USC campus at the Department of Public Safety office. The university’s Health Sciences Campus near Lincoln Park also hosts a DPS office, but its not clear if bikes can be registered there.

Ongoing issues with my mountainbike have me rationalizing getting a new one. Collapsed economy notwithstanding, me wantz new bikey.

The entry-level, full-suspension Ibex Apogee that I purchased in 2004 online served me well enough through the two years that ensued. But I haven’t put tread to trail since some time in 2006 and hell, I’m pretty sure the last time I rode it was the day of my 42 birthday that same year when in Death Valley we went on a 17-mile, on-road downhill from the 8,200-foot elevation of Mahogany Flat campground all the way to the Panamint Valley floor.

What a rush that was.

But the fact of the matter was and is I’ve learned from the Apogee that I’m just not in need of a full suspension bike. For the low-skill, slow-go way that I ride dirt, — both uphill and down — I just don’t need all that technology. In fact, if my beloved bare-bones 1990 GT Timberline hadn’t been stolen in 1998  I’d probably still be riding it and entirely happy. But instead after it dissapeared from its place locked up in the back of my truck inside the apartment’s secured parking (leading me to believe it was an inside job by some fellow tenant douchewad) I replaced it with a front-suspension Raleigh that I rarely felt comfortable on, and after selling that to a friend, I bought into the front and rear shock-absorbing hype and got the Ibex.

Not that there weren’t good times between us:

The troubles mentioned up top have to do with the gap in space that exists between the steertube of the replacement forks I put on in 2006, and the head tube of the frame — there’s just too much disconcerting wobble and bobble no matter how hard I try to batten everything down. Having donated the original forks to the Bicycle Kitchen there’s no going back to them. And sure, I could replace the replacement forks with ones that properly fit or get the bike in the hands of a perfeshunal who can properly diagnose a cure, but that’s still going to leave me riding a bike that has more engineering than I want or need.

In short, it’s time to put the Apogee out to pasture, or in this case the storage space under the porch (or donated to the Bike Kitchen), and of course that leaves me wanting a new ride and looking longingly at the following low/mid levels of the Motobecane brand’s mountain bike spectrum as seen on bikesdirect.com (the same outfit where I got Le Noir,  my presently incapacitated but otherwise marvelous Mercier Kilo TT track bike last January):

The first is reeeeeeally bare bones: A 29-inch wheel hard-tailed, hard-nosed singlespeeder called the Outcast:

Don’t she look sa-weet? Of course the trouble is the $400 pricetag is a tough swallow and the old-school solitary gearing with a 44-tooth chainring up front and an 18-tooth cog in back might prove an ordeal getting her upwards. But there’s something appealing in all its striped down basicality that purely pits rider against rise. And should the mountain prevail, a smaller chainring isn’t a hard swap to make.

But then there’s this $299 dame also on the nothing-fancy side with standard 26-inch wheels entry-level gears ‘n brakes ‘n stuff:

The price is certainly right, and again for the type of off-roading I do I’m sure she’d suit me quite nicely. But if I do decide to step it up a level or two and open the wallet a little wider, I’ll be looking twice and thrice at this more glorious gal:

At $600 she’d be the most I’ve ever spent on a bike — not counting the $900 Klein I impulse bought off the rack at Costco in the early/mid ’90s that I returned a couple days later when first I came to my senses and  second the thing started falling apart because, well… I bought it at Costco and it was probably assembled by a guy whose normal job was fork lift operator.

So we’ll see what happens. Either I’ll be prudent and put off the purchase, or I’ll commit to a new dirt bike, which of course means I’ll have to get out and ride it gee darn.

Riding home last Friday I somehow managed to hit a big enough bump or pothole to dislodge the business end of the awesomely bright rear blinky light on my bike, leaving me with nothing more than than the rear casing attached to my saddlebag.

I used some of my small strap-on LEDs in the interim until a couple days ago when I could roll to the Bicycle District Square Gateway Homeland Zone Quadrant Town Epicenter at Heliotrope and Melrose where the literal hole-in-the-wall shack that ist Orange 20 Bikes is located.

Honestly, my last couple visits haven’t gone so well. I was sold the incorrect style of brake cable on one occasion, and most recently I purchased a new set of tires only to get home to find they weren’t the same size.  Trifling and resolvable matters too be sure, but frustrating nonetheless. Coincidentally, both of those visits took place while co-owner Jim C. was elsewhere.

See, Jim besides being a legendary cyclist who knows a looooot about bikes, is also a guy who will take the time to do right by you, and he’s the reason why on my way home Tuesday I passed by Palms Cyclery on Motor north of Venice and Chubby’s on La Cienega south of Guthrie and kept on going straight to O20 — whether Jim C. was there or not.

If he hadn’t been, I would’ve just bought the light and bailed without asking anyone else working there for advice with a situation my bike had developed because frankly and in all likelihood I would’ve been blown off. It’s happened before. Never by Jim C.

Fortunately he was there, and as such after purchasing the light I troubled him to check out the clicking sound emanating from around the headset/stem area that had started sporadically enough but had since grown to be a maddening almost-constant reminder that something wasn’t right.

But what? Was it damaged? Was it metal fatigue? Was it a potential hazard either way?

Keep in mind Jim C. coulda said  “well it could be symptomatic of a problem that will require me to take a look and cost you money for labor and parts,” and I would’ve been all “OK.” But instead Jim C. stopped what he was doing, came outside and manhandled the bars of my bike a bit and heard a couple clicks and said there’s no damage, there’s no fatigue, and no it’s not a potential hazard either way. Then he told me a simple DIY fix that involved me greasing the stem bolts that hold the handlebars in place and also the insides of the stem because by most accounts he said it’s just simple dry metal-on-dry metal contact that’s occuring somewhere in there that’s in need of a little lubricationalization.

I did that this morning and guess what: no more clicks. None.

And that is why Orange 20 is my go-to bikeshop.

So last Tuesday I went to the 5th Annual Blessing of the Bikes at Good Samaritan Hospital and among the shwag I accumulated was a 15%-discount coupon for REI. In the ensuing days since my bike was blessed the coupon has been sitting on my desk, having survived several attempts to discard it because I just don’t do a lot of shopping at REI — not only because there isn’t a store near me but also because I’m one of those snarkos who thinks the company’s acronym stands for Really Expensive Indeed.

Well boy howdy am I glad I kept that piece of paper around because yesterday as I was perusing my Sitemeter referals to see who other than The Google was coming to my blog, I found an inbound link from www.jokeisup.com and as it looked wholly unfamiliar of course I clicked on it and found the blog of a cycling dude I believe I met if not on previous Midnight Ridazz or RIDE-Arc rides than last summer during the Hot Knives’ Le Grand Crew ride. Anyway, he had written this post about Bike To Work Day, which discussed the event’s significance and then segued into bike clothing — ultimately concluding with a link pointing readers to my favorite footwear maker — KEEN — who’d apparently decided it was high time to come out with a badass commuter cycling sandal in full SPD-compatible clip glory:

The catch was the link was to REI.com where the shoes were listed at $115. Immediately I tried to do better on the price via Zappos.com and a couple other online shoe sources where I’ve made previous Keen buys, but the best price I could find was $114.75. Oooooo, a whole quarter! And shiny!!

It was then that I remembered the coupon and in a few minutes spent filling in a few form boxes and entering the discount offer’s code, suddenly the shoes were undie a hundie at $17.25 cheaper and I clicked the submit button in triumph!

So thank you Good Samaritan Hospital for hosting the Blessing of the Bikes. And thank you REI for having a table there at the event from which I took the coupon. And thank me for not repeatedly pitching that coupon away. And thank you Sitemeter for logging the hit from Jokeisup.com. And thank you Doctor J at that blog for coming on that beer ride last summer and meeting me. And thank you for putting my blog on your blogroll. And thank you for whoever clicked that blogroll link and came over to my site. And thank you again Doctor J for being a cyclist and writing about Bike To Work Day and discussing your clothing options and linking to those shoes.

I couldn’t have done it without you!

About a month ago I probably glazed most eyes over writing about the concerns I have regarding the proposed satellite radio acquisition of XM by its rival Sirius. I won’t bore you again with the specifics other than to say that as a long-time Sirius subscriber I’m still just as wary of the rumors that the individual companies’ existing hardware might not accommodate the combined programming of the new single entity and thus require some sort of cash outlay for a new radio.

The vague explanation that remains on the Sirius Merger website coupled  to the silence that’s greeted my specific correspondence to Sirius on the topic has served to only increase my apprehension, and prompted me to write my U.S. senators about it.

I heard first back from Barbara Boxer whose platitude-loaded form letter pretty much boiled down to “this is an important issue,” and “thanks for writing to me.” Thanks for nothing, Babs.

Would that Sen. Feinstein had been so generic. Instead her response blew me away with how much she — or more specifically one of her staffers — blew it in misreading my letter as one expressing wholehearted support of the proposed merger:

Dear Mr. Campbell,

Thank you for writing regarding your support for the proposed merger between Sirius and XM satellite radio. I appreciate your taking the time to share your views.

The Department of Justice and the Federal Trade Commission share concurrent jurisdiction over merger enforcement. It is their duty to carefully review, among other things, the potential implication of mergers on consumers and businesses. This is a crucial function of both agencies and it is often a very lengthy process.

Although mergers do not require congressional approval, the Senate Judiciary Committee has oversight jurisdiction over mergers and held a hearing last year to consider the implications of the proposed merger. Although I was unable to attend that hearing, I have been following this potential merger closely because, if it takes place, it could have a major effect on the media market in this country. On one hand we would go from a market with two satellite radio companies, competing fiercely to develop their content and attract subscribers, to just one satellite radio company. This could limit the choices available to consumers. On the other hand, I recognize that XM and Sirius have raised concerns that there is the potential for both companies to go out of business if the merger does not go forward, leaving the satellite radio market void. Please be assured that I will keep your support for the merger in mind should the Senate consider these issues further.

Once again, thank you for writing and I hope you will continue to write to me about issues of importance to you. If I can be of further assistance, please do not hesitate to contact my Washington, DC staff at (202) 224‑3841.

Best regards.

Sincerely yours,
Dianne Feinstein
United States Senator

My “support” of the merger? Of course I WTF’d an email right back at Dianne:

Senator Feinstein,

Did your staff even READ my letter? I ask this with pointed incredulity because you reference my “support” of the Sirius/XM merger twice in your response when in fact my letter to you expressed the reservations I have regarding the acquisition of XM by Sirius and how it might make current subscribers’ existing equipment obsolete, thus necessitating costly purchases of new hardware in order to take advantage of the new hybrid programming.

If you or your staff even bother to read this I only hope it’s clear how absolutely disappointing  it is to be so grossly misinterpreted.

Sincerely,
William Campbell

The satellite radio scene got bumped to a bigger blip on the radar in large part because of the announcement this week that the Justice Department’s anti-trust busters have given the proposed $4.6-billion merger of Sirius and XM corporations a hearty thumbs-up.

Chances are this doesn’t mean much to most people who receive their radiowaves terrestrially, but as a long-time Sirius subscriber I’m paying it some attention, primarily because of the rumors I’ve heard that should the merger be approved by the FCC, my current Sirius equipment might become obsolete in that I would still receive Sirius programming, but not whatever former-XM channels get ported over. In order to do that I would of course need to “upgrade” my hardware at a cha-ching of a several hundies.

Coincidentally this morning I got a call from a Sirius telemarketer looking to send me a new free radio with a 45% discounted additional subscription ($irius is $et up in $uch a way that one can’t get a new radio added to a current $ub$cription; each box need$ to have it$ own… but that’$ another topic entirely and all right I’ll stop it with the dollar signs).

I expressed my concern to the telemarketer as to buying equipment now that might be programming impaired post-merger and the representative put me on with her supervisor who assured me that would not happen, and when I asked him to provide me with something in writing, he instead directed me to siriusmerger.com where he told me the writing I sought was there in black and white.

Sort of.

Here’s what Sirius has posted:

“If our merger is approved, the combined company will offer consumers the best of each service on your current radio – at a price well below the cost of the two services today.”

Sounds good, right? On the surface yeah, but my skepticality looks at “best of each service on your current radio” and sees a position that craftily reinforces the separation of the two entities. Notice the use of “each” and the singular “service” instead of “both” and “services.” Big difference.

But wait, there’s more at the bottom of that page:

“We guarantee no radio will become obsolete. Your current radio will continue to provide you with the programming you enjoy, whether you keep your current service or change to a new subscription plan. “

Again at first glance this looks solid. But on second pass it’s basically a thinly veiled statement of the obvious that tells me Sirius radios will continue to receive Sirius programming and XM radios will continue to receive XM programming.

As a result of that cagy language and at Sirius’ invitation I utilized a form letter page on their website to send the following email to my elected officials in Washington, DC, and the FCC, with the subject line: Concerns About Hardware Obsolesence Following Sirius/XM Merger.

Honorable Senators, Representative, and the FCC:

In the guarantee posted to the Sirius website, it states:

“…that that no Sirius radio will become obsolete as a result of the merger. The two companies have millions of radios in the market, including many that are factory-installed in automobiles. After the merger, you will not need another radio to continue to receive the programming you now enjoy.”

This statement is ambiguous and frankly disingenuous in that it does not specifically address new programming. While I understand that my current Sirius hardware will continue to receive the Sirius programming I presently access, what remains unaddressed and vague is whether or not that hardware will allow me to access any new programming brought over from the former XM.

I am a long-time and mostly satisfied Sirius subscriber but since the buyout was announced  I have abstained and will continue to abstain from purchasing new hardware in this pre-merger interim. I am satisfied that existing Sirius programming will be available to me with my old radio, but I’m not going to upgrade my equipment if there’s even the slightest doubt that it will not support any new programming should the merger be completed.

Unless this is specifically addressed by Sirius I will wait out the merger before buying rather than buy now only to be forced buy again to enjoy any combined programming — which would not happen because I would cancel my subscription rather than allow myself to suffer such bait-and-switch tactics.

Sincerely,
William Campbell